I started this blog a few months ago without any real direction. Essentially I think I just like telling people what to do so I figured you guys could ask me questions and I could give my rather unqualified advice. I receive a lot of emails asking me about specific and actually really tough life decisions sometimes and I always try to do my best to offer a little direction from an outsider’s perspective. But is there anything else I should be writing about? WHAT DO YOU GUYS REALLY WANT FROM ME? I mean, I could get all Tucker Max and write about the ridiculous situations I put myself in but who really cares that I told my ex-boyfriend that his girlfriend had a funny haircut or that I started Facebook flirting with my former roommates ex-fling.
Would you guys be interested in bringing in a male writer that you could force your nagging questions on? Because I have a few excellent gentlemen in mind.
For some reason, everyone is still on this whole “who the fuck is this NYC Blonde chick?” kick. And a lot of people have figured it out, so I applaud you. When I started tweeting I did it under this pseudonym because I have like, a real job and stuff. So I don’t really want a tweet about blowjobs to come up on Google when people search my name. And now it’s just turned into a fun game of hide and seek. Some people don’t want to know who I am, some people do. So I’ll make you guys a deal… When I hit 100,000 followers I’ll give you the option of adding me on Facebook and stalking the shit out of my life.
Next order of business, I’ve been working with an ah-mahzz-ing graphic artist (my baby brother) who gave me a customized iPhone case for Christmas. And now we’re in the process of ordering a bunch of them to sell to you beautiful bitches. We’re hoping to keep the cost as low as possible so that everyone can sport one, hopefully around $13 big ones. If you want to reserve one, email me with your iPhone model and name. And obviously if you post an instagram mirror photo, I’m obligated to follow you back.
Also, this ah-mahzz-ing graphic artist is available for hire if you want an iPhone case customized with your own twitter handle and cartoon depiction of yourself (or anything really). So if you’re interested in this, email me exactly what you want and we’ll make it happen.
Lastly, I want to thank you all for putting up with my bullshit throughout 2012. LOVE YOU MEAN IT.