I started this blog a few months ago without any real
direction. Essentially I think I just like telling people what to do so I
figured you guys could ask me questions and I could give my rather unqualified
advice. I receive a lot of emails asking me about specific and actually really
tough life decisions sometimes and I always try to do my best to offer a little direction from an
outsider’s perspective. But is there anything else I should be writing about?
WHAT DO YOU GUYS REALLY WANT FROM ME? I mean, I could get all Tucker Max and
write about the ridiculous situations I put myself in but who really cares that
I told my ex-boyfriend that his girlfriend had a funny haircut or that I
started Facebook flirting with my former roommates ex-fling.
If you follow me on twitter, which I’m assuming all of you
do since I’m actually a huge nobody in real life, then you know that I tend to
stick to the vaguely funny and over-dramatic bitch shtick. But this blog has
become unusually serious and all “relatable” and shit. I’d love to hear about
what you guys are interested in, it can’t just be booze and boys? Or can it?
Would you guys be interested in bringing in a male writer
that you could force your nagging questions on? Because I have a few excellent
gentlemen in mind.
For some reason, everyone is still on this whole “who the
fuck is this NYC Blonde chick?” kick. And a lot of people have figured it out,
so I applaud you. When I started tweeting I did it under this pseudonym because
I have like, a real job and stuff. So I don’t really want a tweet about blowjobs to
come up on Google when people search my name. And now it’s just
turned into a fun game of hide and seek. Some people don’t want to know who I
am, some people do. So I’ll make you guys a deal… When I hit 100,000 followers
I’ll give you the option of adding me on Facebook and stalking the shit out of
my life.
Next order of business, I’ve been working with an
ah-mahzz-ing graphic artist (my baby brother) who gave me a customized iPhone
case for Christmas. And now we’re in the process of ordering a bunch of them to
sell to you beautiful bitches. We’re hoping to keep the cost as low as possible
so that everyone can sport one, hopefully around $13 big ones. If you want to
reserve one, email me with your iPhone model and name. And obviously if you
post an instagram mirror photo, I’m obligated to follow you back.
Also, this ah-mahzz-ing graphic artist is available for hire
if you want an iPhone case customized with your own twitter handle and cartoon
depiction of yourself (or anything really). So if you’re interested in this,
email me exactly what you want and we’ll make it happen.
Lastly, I want to thank you all for putting up with my
bullshit throughout 2012. LOVE YOU MEAN IT.
i love u
ReplyDeleteI follow the NYC Blonde account on Twitter simply for the slight burst of joy I get when I read one of the many witty tweets, though it may be sometimes drenched in narcissism or even vulgarity, at least it stays real and helps with cracking a smile in the office. That being said, I leave it at that. Just because someone has a ton of followers on Twitter doesn't mean they can help you by telling you how to live your life. Be your fucking self and figure shit out on your own. I just hope people don't take someone else's life advice too seriously. Asking for advice out of curiosity would make sense, but relentlessly living by it? A little ridiculous, wouldn't you say?
ReplyDeleteOk here you go sister. Why, after say 16 years of marriage, (you may not be helpful with this question), is a man not funny or witty to his wife anymore, and everything he says or does is a "pussy" breaker, and nothing she does is a "dick" breaker? i.e. At a gathering or party she is irritated by his "funny" comments while others are present, and no pussy for him tonight, while she can pretty much do whatever and he will still be happy to fuck her like no one else can. Your insight would be much appreciated. @bears09fan
ReplyDeleteYou are pretty much one of the funniest things I read on Twitter daily - like explaining friendships, I wouldn't be limited to saying "This blog is the "TITS!" Keep writing and making us laugh, God knows I am! P.s. I'll be e-mailing you my iPhone case idea/order - PRICELESS.
ReplyDeleteBest,
Lauren/PRBlonde - http://www.PRBlonde.com
I think it's terribly important to discuss your beautiful hair and what you do to make it look like that. Deets.
ReplyDeleteYou are amazingly funny funny and I must start reading you daily to "make my day"!
ReplyDelete(='.'=)
-Lauren at adorn la femme
http://adornlafemme.blogspot.com