This morning I woke up without my clutch, which means no keys, credit card or ID, thankfully I still managed to get home with my phone which may or may not be a good thing...
What I do remember from the end of the night is an old man with a cane and a toolbox chasing me down, he knew my name so I'm guessing at one point we had become chums. This man had to be in his late 40s or early 50s, I'm talking OLD. Anyways, all I wanted to do was get away from him and get home. But without a credit card or any cash (remember I lost my clutch, and did I mention I broke my shoe?) I had very few options. So I let this mystery man get in a cab and take me home... When we pulled up in the vicinity of my apartment, I'm pretty sure I pulled a "tuck and roll" out of the car and ran to my apartment with my shoes in one hand and my phone in the other. I yelled, "YOU NEVER SAW ME!" at my doorman and bolted up to the top floor where I rang and knocked until my roommate in remnants of her slutty vampire costume finally answered the door.
Since I managed to get home with my phone some-what intact, although I did crack the screen of my brand new iPhone 5, I spent most of the morning reviewing and deciphering the illegible phrases I sent out as I gulped down coconut water.
The question we now have to debate is whether morning-after apology texts are courteous or necessary? Is it best to plead the fifth? Go on living as if it never happened? Or send a coy follow-up text with some cutesy emoji? WHAT DO MEN WANT?!?!?!
I'll be mulling over these questions and more over the next few hours as I try to sell $500 coats to Upper East Side women. I hope you all sex kittens enjoyed your Halloween weekend and are preparing your livers for the debauchery that will ensue come Wednesday night.
Tag, tweet or email me pictures of your costumes! Thoughts and opinions on apology texts are welcome. And any questions you have, I'd be happy to answer. email@example.com.
PS. I think I'm still very drunk.